|
| |
Our parents had known each other in China; we’d even taken |
| |
the same boat to America. However, within five years of our |
| |
arrival in San Francisco, Norman and I had become strangers. |
| Line |
Relatives already established in the city helped Norman’s parents |
| (5) |
assimilate. Within a year, they had not only learned English, but |
| |
had also become real estate moguls. I learned all this from the |
| |
Chinese American gossip machine that constantly tabulated every |
| |
family’s level of success. The machine judged my family lacking. |
| |
My parents ran a grocery store and, unlike Norman’s family, |
| (10) |
gravitated to the immigrant subculture. They never learned |
| |
English, but they respected that I tamed that beast of a |
| |
language. I was my parents’ communication link with the “outside |
| |
world.” |
| |
My parents denied themselves in order to ensure that I could |
| (15) |
attend Baywood, a top private high school. That was where Norman |
| |
and I crossed paths again. However much my relative mastery of |
| |
English had elevated my status at home, at Baywood I remained a |
| |
shy and brainy outsider. Norman was very popular: he played |
| |
football and was elected class president. He and gorgeous Judy |
| (20) |
Kim were named King and Queen of the Winter Ball; their portrait |
| |
adorned every available bulletin board. I scoffed at the |
| |
celebrity silently. Back then, I did everything silently. |
| |
Compared to Norman, who had already achieved the American teenage |
| |
ideal, I was anonymous. From the sidelines I observed his |
| (25) |
triumphs with barely acknowledged envy. |
| |
In May of our freshman year, Norman approached me after our |
| |
chemistry class. |
| |
“Hey, Angela,” he said as my heart leapt into my throat. “I |
| |
missed class a couple of days ago. Can I copy your notes?” |
| (30) |
“Sure,” I said. I was horrified to find myself blushing. |
| |
We soon became study buddies. It was all business—no small |
| |
talk beyond the necessary niceties. But the hours we piled up |
| |
studying together generated an unspoken mutual respect and an |
| |
unacknowledged intimacy. Judy noticed this and took an increasing |
| (35) |
dislike to me. This relationship continued throughout high |
| |
school. |
| |
One day in eleventh grade, without looking up from the math |
| |
problem he was working on, Norman asked: “What schools are you |
| |
applying to?” |
| (40) |
It was the first time he had shown any real personal |
| |
interest in me. “Berkeley, if I’m lucky,” I said. |
| |
“You could probably get in anywhere.” |
| |
“What do you mean?” |
| |
He looked up from his math problem and met my gaze. |
| (45) |
“Berkeley is just across the bay. Don’t you want to |
| |
experience something new for once? I’m applying to schools back |
| |
East,” he said. “You should, too.” |
| |
Not for the first time, an exciting vision of ivy-covered |
| |
walls and perhaps even a new identity swept over me and was |
| (50) |
almost immediately subsumed by a wave of guilt. |
| |
“But what about my parents?” |
| |
“But what about you?” |
| |
Norman had broken a taboo. I launched into a self-righteous |
| |
refutation of the possibility he had dared to voice. I told him |
| (55) |
that even though I wasn’t popular and my family wasn’t as |
| |
successful as his, I at least hadn’t forgotten that it was my |
| |
parents who had brought me here and who had struggled so much for |
| |
me. How could I make them unhappy? |
| |
Norman had expected this outburst. He smiled. “We’re not so |
| (60) |
different, you know. We started out in the same boat. Now we’re |
| |
in the same boat again.” He laughed. “We’ve always been in the |
| |
same boat. Our parents might be kind of different, but they want |
| |
us to succeed and be happy.” |
| |
“You’re so American,” I said in a tone hovering between |
| (65) |
approval and reproach. “You’re not even worried about leaving |
| |
your parents to go to school back East.” |
| |
“That’s not what being American means,” he insisted. |
| |
“Well, what does it mean, then?” I demanded. Surely, I, and |
| |
not this superficial football player who needed my academic help, |
| (70) |
knew what it meant to be American. That very day I had received |
| |
an A on my American History term paper. |
| |
“It means, Angela,” he said gently, “that our parents |
| |
brought us here so we could have the freedom to figure out for |
| |
ourselves what to do with our lives.” |
| (75) |
He smiled at my speechlessness and then returned to his math |
| |
problem. |
| |
Without looking up from his notebook, he said, “If I can |
| |
decide to go to school back East, so can you.” |
